Lambda Omicron Omega Psi

The Llanview University campus is, as American universities go, rather quiet. It has an ever-changing population of transient students who either never seem to graduate (but nevertheless move on to demanding careers requiring at least n MBA) or who graduate after, oh, two semesters, tops. Of course, maybe that’s because it offers so few classes (which meet on a very irregular basis), and it employs very few instructors. Professor Patrick Thornhart’s former employer, Trinity University, Dublin, certainly boasted a better reputation in the academic world.

Not only is knowledge not actively pursued at Llanview University... extracurricular activities and organizations such as sororities and fraternities are virtually nonexistent and receive attention only when they are responsible for unfortunate incidents that make news (such as a notorious rape case that happened during a wild party in a fraternity house several years ago). Even then such incidents are quickly swept under the rug. One of the convicted rapists - and the less said about him, the better, as far as Professor Thornhart is concerned - in that case is now actually the publisher of the Llanview Sun, which just is a sorry indication of how slight an impact Llanview University events have on the community.

Since Professor Thornhart arrived on the college scene, however, things are changing. He has revived interest in the university with a vengeance, especially among the female students who have newly discovered (or rediscovered) a burning interest in literature and poetry. In fact, a small group of determined women has joined together to extol, far and wide, Professor Thornhart’s outstanding abilities and accomplishments. This sisterhood has chosen the name LOOP, based on the Greek letters lambda (he’s such a lamb), omicron (oh, my!), omega (oh, may I?), and psi (sigh…).

As Professor Thornhart’s fame and popularity spread, they expect their ranks to expand until they become quite a force to be reckoned with on campus.

However, LOOP is currently concentrating simply on establishing its identity as an organization devoted to the lofty goal it has adopted relative to Professor Thornhart. Once LOOP has achieved this sort of recognition, the sorority believes it will be in an unsurpassed position to improve the cultural quality of Llanview University and enhance its perception in this regard in the entire world of academe. This will be the most meaningful tribute that they can offer to the professor: this is what LOOP will strive to attain. As a more immediate benefit of LOOP’s devotion to and association with Professor Thornhart, it would not be premature to announce that the sorority will eventually publish a literary magazine as a result of his heady influence. The Patrick Papers is proud to shine its spotlight on LOOP in this issue, especially since we share the same aspiration, and we wish it all success and happiness in its promising new venture.

We will also be glad to mention any similar organizations that wish to be featured in future issues. Please contact the editor for further information and rate schedules.

Sisterhood lives.

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